Spain…hitting head-on on a stationary wall

Remember those times when you are running at high speeds, looking down (or just lost in your dreams), and you suddenly hit a pole/wall? That’s the feeling you get when you move from India to Spain (or more specifically Bangalore to Barcelona). No kidding! In a nutshell, the pace of both countries is a magnitude of at least 20 years different. I have been in Barcelona (and areas around) for the past month and a half, and it almost feels like I have been transported back to the India I had experienced when I was a child in my early teens. Some may say that was a romantic time, where people had a life, but hey...when as a country you learn to run fast and get ahead of the world, you lose the sense of romance and slowing down at such a rapid pace does not feel romantic, at all. Its just frustrating and beats logic. Consider this…it took me 15 days to get an active bank account and another 1 week week to get their credit and debit cards. Its been a month almost since I applied for my internet connection but still don’t have one. What beats this is that they bundle internet with cell phone connections, and now I don’t have internet on my phone! Ikea told us they will deliver the good we bought within a week. The first week went by and no news from them. When I finally called, they said just wait for us to call back and reschedule. Thankfully they did, but again second appointment, they missed! Now 2 weeks later, I don’t have a clue where my paid consignment is. People take one whole month off here for summer vacations. Everything, including restaurants shut. My office colleagues advanced their weddings to July cause they could not get their marriages registered in August. The whole country shuts! When I go through all these experiences, I can see my father’s frustrated face when he used to come back home harassed by some government office, tortured by the sheer apathy and lack of customer care…30 years ago in India. Today, in India you can open a bank account in 5 minutes on your cell phone, internet connection is a 2 hour job ( at most 2 days if your paperwork is complicated), no one shuts down for a whole month, and customer care really cares (honestly you will truly understand that Indian customer care actually cares after you have interacted with customer care in Spain). And then when I tell friends that this place is quite frustrating, they always come back with the canned dream reply of “look at their infrastructure dude! Its awesome!” Yeah well, if you have all the money in the world, and such a small population to service, its not difficult to have awesome infrastructure and be able to maintain it too. But then, this beats logic. Why, if your population is low, can’t you do things faster???

Well, maybe enough cribbing. I guess that’s just a spoilt Indian (coming from a technologically advanced city of Bangalore) venting out not being able to understand how some country can be this slow and backward in technology, at this day and age. But lets sit down after hitting the wall, wait for the spiral in your head to calm down, and then you start seeing that the wall that you hit your head on while trying to run fast, actually has a beautiful painting. A mural that is very rich in its description and depiction of the glorious history of the country, yet tragically depicting that that’s where the country is stuck in and likes being in. There is absolutely no doubt that this country is blessed by natural beauty in which the people of Spain have beautifully interwoven gorgeous architecture and a serene lifestyle. At every nook and corner you can glimpses of the rich and glorious past, still twinkling in the eyes of the citizens. A very heart warmingly unbiased welcome to people from different parts of the world, with no visible bias and prejudice. In more ways than one, this is more desirable than any technological advancement you may wish for. 

So in all of this where is the romance? The romance was actually born out of the experience as a family.  When I reflect back, I think of an old black and white Bollywood movie. A young couple, just moved to a new city, trying to set up life, have 2 kids (born early within the marriage), trying to make it through the daily routines of life. The husband leaves early morning, walks a distance to catch the local Mumbai train (in this case Barcelona metro), carries a box for lunch made by the loving wife (Nisha has discovered a new passion for cooking and insists she cooks lunch for me), changes from train to bus, and finally reaches office after an hour. Finishes work by 5:00 and leaves office (with no tension of getting back home and working again), reaches home and has 2 kids who come running to him when he opens the door (yes my kids actually do this and its an amazing feeling. The little one jumps in his stationary spot). The loving wife stays at home, cooks, takes care of two bratty kids, and also finds time to stitch (in this case working from home for her company in India) and does this throughout the day and in to the nights. The only respite being when the husband comes back home, takes over the kids for a couple of hours, and lovingly makes a nice cup of ginger tea every evening for the loving wife. In between all of this, the husband continues to battle with the system, while the wife ensures the husband is fighting fit and emotionally happy to take on the world. Its been the most cute and romantic time of our lives. Stressful, tiring, tough, yet nothing we regret.

I know in this post, you may not have found anything about Barcelona that you would have heard of, romanticized about, experienced or wished to hear about. This was all about me learning the fact that visiting a city, and actually having to move and live in it are really completely different experiences. This time the joy was not discovered in the external factor of the city, but in the small family we have created and the experiences go through all of this together. Truly, the romance was not the city, but the company 😊

Ma

Ma, its going to be a year tomorrow since you left us. A year that went too fast. A year I cant seem to remember cause the memory of you being around is still so fresh. A year that went in silent tears for many, when in their dark times they missed the reassuring smile that was you. A year where happiness felt incomplete because you were not around to share it with. A year that pretty much did not mean much because you were not around. But ma, the knowledge that someone as beautiful as you is for sure, in a much better place than here, gives us strength to move on. Nim and I are trying to recreate the lovely family you and dad left behind. We hope to leave behind memories as sweet as the two of you left. Bring strength to people around us just like you did, and inculcate an attitude of fearlessness and bravado. Awaiting the day we meet you again. Till such time...

Life between two Aamir Khan movies

It was a year almost to this day when I watched a movie. The last movie I watched was Dhoom 3 on the 25th of Dec 2013. Today on 24th of Dec 2014, I watched PK. The two Aamir Khan movies that released back to back...a year apart. And life in this one year was no les than an Aamir Khan movie.

2014 had been the year I will never be able to forget. 17 Jan, we welcomed a little angel in to our family. And angel he did prove to be in the year that followed. We named him Aarav, and true to his name he helped bring peace in an otherwise tumultuous year. Oh, and there was more joy, with our hard earned money getting us a beautiful apartment in a near perfect location. Come June and my career was taking off really well, my personal life was very happy with the whole family coming together thanks to Aarav, and then suddenly, like Hiroshima, my perfect world crumbled in front of my eyes...my mom contracted a disease that was known to be lethal. The same lady who was so healthy that I used to feel ashamed of my stamina in front of. The same lady who never quit smiling...and she did so till the end, going down fighting on the 13th of July. Even in her death she earned respect of the doctors cause they had never seen someone put up such a brave fight against this disease. There I was, in shock, not knowing how to react. This is when Aarav brought peace and sanity to the family.

On the personal front, a year where I had the happiest moment of my life, with my first son coming in to the family, and the saddest moment when I lost my mom.

But hold on...the year did not end here, nor did the roller coaster ride. At work, I had a stellar year, with my team really coming to its own. I saw the growth of super stars and leaders in my team. Without doubt, I had created and led the most envied team in my org. The fruits of our labour has today resulted in the long cherished dream of our org going commercial finally see light of day. But...ironically, today my entire team stands diluted and I don't lead this team any more.

Strange are the ways of this world. And 2014 has strengthened my belief in the saying that you get immense pain and joy only if you can bear both, and I guess I am still sane :-).

One thing for sure I have adopted, much to the dismay of many, but the one thing that had helped more coast....silence...

66 years of a declining nation's tryst with independence

Today having lived through half the period of India's journey post freedom, I don't know whether to say "happy independence day" or "I wish it was a happy day". Today society has moved from one that stood together for the welfare of others to one that is lost in the pursuit of self gratification. A society that stood against injustice to a society where movements against corruption and violence die in a whimper. Where people, on independence day, are watching a movie that features an actor who in real life is serving a jail term for stocking arms blatantly promoting violence as a means of justice. A society where schools are teaching children that money can buy a lot. Where kids no longer have their innocence even at the age of 2. A society that is forgetting the meaning of independence. A society where the pride of a nation is only skin deep.

Today I hope this is a phase in the life of a young India, a phase that will pass soon. Hope for happier days post independence.

Seeing the future

Everyone who can read this blog have teh ability to see the future. Confused? Picture this...

You are standing with a visually impaired person. Lightning strikes. You will see it about a second before the visually impaired person hears it. So technically, you have seen the future when you think of it from a visually impaired person's point of view. Right?

Having said this, I think seeing the future is a lot about what enses you can stimulate and how accurately you can extrapolate. You can accurately extrapolate, looking at the lightning bolt, on how loud the thunder will sound. Hence you already know the future. Look at anything around you. if you can extrapolate what the same thing would look or sound a few moments later, you can close your eyes and practically live in the future. Right?

Finally...

4 years is really a long period of silence. Finally breaking it today.

These 4 years have been quite a roller coaster ride. Seen success and stagnation in my career, got married and have experienced the highs and lows of being a husband, forged new relationships, got in touch with old friends, and have definitely increased the count of grey hair on my head. 4 years, and the world around me has seemed to changed drastically. The threat of terrorism seems to be closer than I would have thought 4 years ago, crowds have increased manifolds no matter where you go, and prices have not only shot through the roof, but crossed the exosphere. Life, as I see it, has just grown more complicated.

To add to all this chaos, we have a million people talking with each other, posting on walls, posting videos, chatting, facebooking, orkuting, twittering...

Silence...

Moments of Silence

I came across this forward, and it sums up what i have been trying to say

Silence…

Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you just ran
out of words and you go... s i l e n t ???


Let me assist you in recalling.... the moment when you left your home
for the first time and you look back at your parents who are worried
that their son/daughter are leaving them yet happy that their child
took the first step towards independence.


... the moment when the girl/boy you like most.. smiled back at you!
You don't say anything.. you just smile back..


... the moment when you get better marks than you expected... those
"numb" moments of ecstasy n surprise "is that true?"...


... the moment when you are parting with your old friend(s) and the
train has just started... and you are standing on the door of the
wagon.. waving "bye-bye" with your heart beating fast...



... the moment after the HR manager has just called you and told
,"You are through! Congrats!"



... the moment when you sit alone in your room after having told
everyone that you cleared that exam you prepared for 6 months!!



.....You can go on remembering your "special" moments!

I had always wondered why I never said anything to myself at those
moments.. as if it was "understood"... happiness, joy, pain.. all
feelings just flowed ceaselessly in the 'years' that passed in those
flash moments!


They say.. the best way to communicate is through "silence".
Love, Joy, Grief ,Surprise, Anger, Hope, Expectations, Support,
Non-cooperation...


Can you imagine the importance of a silent moment in a song??
When Bryan Adams stops for a while along with music, before he goes
on in his husky voice...

... Please forgive me. I cant stop loving you!



Ever had those moments when you thought you were tired enough that
you reach for your bed after dinner.. but find yourself wide awake
looking at the roof of your room silently... But you sure are
'thinking'... those moments of self-talk are the most important in our
lives. Those moments when we listen to our own hearts!
Those promises... those decisions... those are the moments when we
make our destinies!

Next time you go silent... listen carefully to what your heart is
saying.. listen to its joy...listen to its pain.. listen to its
fears.. listen to its desires..


Don't make it shut up and go off to sleep...

LISTEN TO THAT VOICE and ACCEPT EVERYTHING IT SAYS!

That voice alone can lead you to the abode of peace that your
sleep lacks... peace that awaits you!

Be in touch with your true self... be silent once a day, every
day !